SHAFTWAXER

We are dangerously close to getting into the house.

They supposedly are closing tomorrow and getting immediate occupancy to their new place. That means that they have this weekend to start moving their shit. When I originally talked with the wife, she thought it would take 2 weeks to do all of this. I think she was just trying to be conservative with the estimate, but who really knows for sure. So let’s say that they don’t get it done this weekend. Worst case scenario is that they will need one more weekend to do it. That means we should be able to get in there in about 10 days or so. We can’t wait.

The hitch? That would be me and doctors.

Don’t get me wrong, my new family doctor is great. I foresee us getting along very well. We just had an unfortunate incident with a new medication I started taking. I had taken it before, but not at this particular dosage. Each day I took it, I was getting progressively worse. By the third night, I had to lay on the floor because my head was spinning so badly. I was also having difficulty not moving my arms or my legs. We almost went to the emergency room that night. Suffice it to say, I’m not on that shit anymore.

I also went in for my first physical in many years on Monday. Everything was fine… up until the blood draw at the end. I honestly can’t remember the last time that I had a blood draw. I don’t like needles in general, so I at least knew enough to not watch that happen. It was uncomfortable, but it wasn’t bad.

That is, it wasn’t bad until after she took the needle out. I started to feel a little light headed. Then I felt a red hot rush into my head and got REALLY light headed. I was told to put my head between my knees. She tried to give me some orange juice, but that didn’t really work out all that well. I told her to get me a pan, but she didn’t listen. Her loss, because that’s when I threw up. Supposedly I had turned awfully white in the process, I’ll have to take their word for it since I wasn’t really looking at myself. Once I threw up, I started to feel a little better. They had me lay down in an exam room, gave me more orange juice, and later gave me some cheese and crackers once I was able to get up on my own.

Apparently this is not entirely uncommon. I’ve since talked to a couple of people who described almost the exact same situation. It has something to do with a vein being stimulated and the brain responding by sending lots of blood to your chest and not having much left in your head, hence the throwing up and nausea. I’ve been told that if you lay down while the blood draw is going on, it becomes much more managable, possibly to the point of not feeling anything abnormal at all. I will unfortunately have the opportunity to test this theory very soon as I will have to get yet another blood draw for a life insurance policy.

Can’t wait.