SHAFTWAXER

I would like to think that I’m at least a little smarter than the average computer user. Using Internet Explorer is painful to me, and I make it my personal mission to get people to not use that gaping security nightmare any chance I can. I also recognize that using Outlook is like asking the garbage man to come once a month and hope that it’s not going to get too stinky. I don’t randomly click YES to anything that wants to install (thanks Microsoft for ActiveX…) and because I use FireFox, I have yet to see a popup window in years…

…until today.

I was installing a very small program that would assist me in making DVDs. This was apparently a bad choice because while it was trying to install, it stopped. It only got as far as installing the metric fuckton of spy ware and ad ware on my machine before it crapped out. Suddenly my computer was “enhanced” with all sorts of new “features”, things I didn’t know I wanted, but some marketing genius figured would be a good idea. Apparently it was an even better idea to not tell me that it was going to be installed too, I apparently don’t know myself enough to know if I do or do not want something. If only this worked with women…

So now, when you go to any web site or launch any application, the great program called Aurora will launch other windows, showing you products specifically designed for your needs and interests, focused marketing to make you a better person. The best one was when it popped up a window informing me that I could have spy ware on my computer and to click here to remove it. Yeah, thanks shithead. That’s like Hitler running to the Jews saying that there may be Nazi’s in their home, better let him come on in to check it out.

Ad-aware doesn’t recognize it. Spybot doesn’t recognize it. The only way to get rid of this gentle piece of fuckery is to go to their maliciously named web site and download a removal utility. How thoughtful of them.

I swear, if I ever meet any of you bastards in person, I will rip your heads off, shit down your throat, and take 8×10 glossy photos of it to send to your mothers. Bitches.