SHAFTWAXER

Hello. My name is Earl Bagina, and I’m a drug user. DO YOU HEAR THAT TOM FUCKING CRUISE?!? I USE DRUGS, YOU CHROME PLATED ASS HOLE!!!

When last we left our antihero, he was trying desperately to not come down with the sickness, disease, and pestilence his fearless girlfriend gave to him via direct cootie injection. As per the usual, I started my regiment of excessive orange juice by IV. A 96oz bottle and a half later, for the most part, aside from some bonus aches, a few extra sneezes, and a slightly sore throat, I had managed to win the battle over who controls my body… Almost. I’m pretty convinced the headache was sinus related. To combat this, our good friends Benedryl and Sudefed came through in a pinch. Sure, I slept through the afternoon and was somewhat disoriented for the evening, but it sure beats wandering around with a pride of lions clawing from the inside out through your skull.

Now sure, these are not the kind of drugs that Tommy Cruise is talking about in his latest diatribe over medication. He’s talking about psychiatric medication. I will be the first to agree that there is a certain degree of (for lack of a better word) weakness among the general population when it comes to drugs for mental health. Taking a pill doesn’t fix everything. Taking a pill is just a tool, one of MANY TOOLS, designed to fix an imbalance in your brain chemistry. I use the analogy of a crutch. A crutch can be used to help you while something is healing, relying on it only when necessary. Others only rely on it and never fully recover or heal. If you are taking those kinds of drugs, you should probably also be working with a therapist or counselor to help get you on track as well.

You don’t just pop a pill and have shit magically get better and be OK. THAT’S where the weakness is. People are afraid to do the real work, to look inward and face the demons. The drugs will help you along, they will not kill your demons. They will just give you a bigger sword to work with.

So when Tommy Boy comes on and starts talking shit about things he really doesn’t know about, it’s insulting. Fortunately, I would imagine that people are looking at him and wondering what the fuck has gotten into him. I’m annoyed enough with him that I really would not be upset if I were to never see another one of his films. As a public figure, he gains access to people, and with that access comes responsibility.

Unfortunately, he doesn’t know what the hell he’s talking about. He says that he has done the research. I doubt it. He quotes studies that never have taken place, he quotes statistics that are entirely misguided or flat out wrong. And what’s best is when he discounts the personal experience of others, insinuating that he knows better. Just because it didn’t work for Tom, I guess it doesn’t work for anybody.

Sorry, Tom. You’re an ass hole.