SHAFTWAXER

So I recently saw a great band called Umphrey’s McGee at the Chicago Theater. I’ve been seeing them for a while, and I really do enjoy their music. I think over the last year or so, they have really stepped up their playing in terms of being a great jam band.

As a band, they got their start in bars, so to have loud, rowdy, drunk people was probably the way it always was. As they got bigger and more popular, they moved out of bars and into clubs and theaters. Unfortunately, most of the drunk fucks followed them. This was unfortunately the case when I saw them. I guess I probably had gotten some delusional idea that it might be a little different at a show in such a nice venue. I obviously was wrong.

Here’s what I don’t get. Why would you get so fucked up at a show that the chances of you remembering what the hell happened are low? Or why would you spend most of the concert out in the lobby waiting in line to get more to drink? But most importantly, why did you waste $35 on a ticket for a show you clearly are not paying attention to? I’m continually astonished at how loud some of these shit heads are talking to each other at the show. They spend so much more time talking to each other than listening to the band. Blows my mind. Seems like a better alternative would be to wait until a day or so after the show and buy the official soundboard recording from the band for $10, play it on your stereo really loud, and drink cheaper while talking really fucking loud to your friends in the comfort of your own living room.

The other joy of joys for me is that it seems like no matter where I go, there is somebody about 17 feet taller than me, and this person without fail will stand directly in front of me. When I saw them for new years at the Aragon Ballroom, it was general admission and an open floor. Short people like me can’t see the stage unless you fight like hell to get up front or get really lucky and manage to stand on the sides on a step. Thinking it would be better at the Chicago with seats and a balcony, I instead end up with Gunthar the Giant. Amazing.

As soon as TicketMaster starts putting a height requirement on some seats, there might actually be a valid reason for their outrageous ticket prices.